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What if…Nostradamus WASN’T a historical figure…but more FOLKLORE disguised as truth?

His life, to me, reads more like a Hollywood script rather than the historical account of a living man, with a soul, who thought thoughts and dumped dumps.

The Mainstream Narrative

Michel de Nostradame was born in December 1503, in Saint-Remy-de-Provence (France). One of nine kids to Reyniere de St-Remy and Jaume de Nostradame, a well-to-do grain dealer and part-time notary. Also…Jewish (History.com). Guy Gassonet, his granddad converted to Catholicism and changed the family name to “de Nostradamus” to avoid persecution during the Spanish Inquisition (1478-1834).

And now…some Deep Dive Commentary…

The name change was a precaution. France was not directly affected by the Inquisition. It was probably more of a “I sense oppression, let’s change our name to sound less Jewish” kind of thing. Like Woody Allen (Allen Konigsberg), Harry Houdini (Erich Weisz), Jon Stewart (Jonathan Leibowitz), Kirk Douglas (Issur Danielovitch), and Gene Simmons (Chaim Witz).

The Mainstream Narrative

His early life is mostly unknown but indicates high intelligence. At 14 years, Young Nos joined the University of Avignon medical program. His grandfather, Jean de St. Remy, taught him Latin, Greek, Hebrew, Math, and “probably” exposed him to the ancient rites of Jewish tradition and astrology. The Jewish Virtual Library claims both grandfathers were court physicians who taught him traditional/herbal medicine but also believed he showed a “talent for prophecy.” So…they expanded his education to include the “forbidden” arts of Kabbalah and Alchemy.

Deep Dive Commentary

Don’t most grandparents see great talent and potential in their grandkids? I’m an uncle (arguably the best), and I see insane intellect and potential in the next generation. Young Nos getting into med school at 14 is wild, yes… but why was his grandfather’s opinion so vital to the story aside from, you know, nepotism?

The Mainstream Narrative

In 1517, the Bubonic plague dropped, and Michel was forced to leave school. And then…he did what most 15-year-olds do during a national pandemic…he coasted the countryside, researched herbal remedies and worked as an apothecary. Five years later, he went to U. of Montpellier to finish his medical doctorate. He squabbled with the Catholic priests who rejected astrology, and when the academic big wigs learned of his apothecary skills, they tried to expel him.

Didn’t work though. In 1525, at 22, Nostradamus received his medical license.

The Jewish Virtual Library (on his time at Montpellier) claims young Nos was “dissatisfied with the ignorance of his teachers about…personal hygiene and the dangers of bleeding and catharsis,” but stayed to complete his studies.

Afterward, he went into the countryside to help victims of the Bubonic Plague. His approach of prescribing fresh air, fresh water, and clean beds, worked. He also had the dead removed from the public and the streets cleaned.

AND ON TOP OF THAT…

The JV Library claims every morning before sunrise, Young Nos went into the fields to oversee the harvest of rose petals. He’d dry and crush the petals into a fine powder to make a throat lozenge, or a “rose pill,” that’s believed to have saved thousands.

Deep Dive Commentary

He healed France with rose-flavor LifeSavers and told them to wash themselves. Interesting. That said, I’ve got questions.

So…a 19-year-old med student thought his mentors were ignorant (or lacking wisdom) for dismissing good hygiene? Countering bleeding practices, sure, BUT…are we expected to believe the medical pioneers of the oldest university in the world, who lived indoors, were IGNORANT to hygienic practices. As if cleaning wounds and wrapping open sores never once entered their minds? Really?

Meanwhile, some 19-year-old Jewish kid is out crushing rose petals into powder, telling the homeless to take baths, and getting Waste Management to de-zombie the streets.

My question is…how? How does a med student have authority over the public? Didn’t even have a medical license, but SOMEHOW got the public accepted his ways? Wouldn’t that put much more of a target on his back?

Also…he was a genius, but…continued to study under those he thought were stupid? Does that make sense? At all? Are we expected to believe Nostradamus was some secret genius who openly rebelled against the medical world, but… remained to graduate three years later?

Oh…and these lifesaving “rose pills.” The JV Library claims every morning before sunrise (EVERY SINGLE MORNING), Nos went out into the fields and overlook the harvest of rose petals before crushing them down.

QUESTION: Who’s field? Where’d the roses come from? Did Young Nos have his own farm? For there to be a harvest, seeds must first be sowed in soil, yes? So, did he plant them? Most roses require 3-4 years to mature, so did this Kabballah/astrology guru with a “talent for prophecy” take the time to plow and sow his own field?

OR…did he steal the fruit of someone else’s labor and play it off as his own?

Also…why before sunrise? Sure, farmers typically harvest at first light, but rose petals? Even amateur botanists recommend harvesting on a dry, sunny morning after the dew has dried. Could it be…Young Nos needed to harvest like a phantom, because his neighbor was starting to notice something fishy in his field?

The Mainstream Narrative

And just like that, Michel became famous (History.com).

The fame earned him financial support from the citizens of Provence and, in 1531, an invitation to work with Jules-Cesar Scaliger, in Agen. Around this time, he got married (a nameless woman) and had two kids (also unknown). Historians theorize his first wife was Henriette d’Encausse, but the jury is still out. Sadly, they died in 1534, due to the plague, while he was in Italy. This killed his favor with everyone including Scaliger.

Deep Dive Commentary

So…Nostradamus got famous, gained a celebrity mentor, got married, had kids, went to Italy, then came home to find his family dead from the plague he was helping eradicate. And then everyone hated him. I’m sorry, but that reeks of Hollywood scriptwriting.

First of all, if he was famous, how come his family remains nameless? Sure, they didn’t have Twitter, or Facebook back then, but the guy was constantly writing. Writers write what they know and what they believe is important.

How does a man publish 942 quatrains (four verse poetry) forget to document his own family? William Shakespeare (born in 1564) may’ve been a writing team, but at least a family was documented. So, why is Nostradamus’s first family still a secret?

Also…how does someone with a “striking cure rate” neglect to save his own family? Did he conceal his “progressive methods” of lozenges, fresh air, and frequent showering from those closest to him?

That’d be like…if Dr. Genius, M.D. discovered the cure to leukemia, saved 95% of Germany, but lost his wife and kids to leukemia that same year.

The Mainstream Narrative

In 1538, Michel made a comment about a religious statue and was charged with heresy. Rather than stand trial, he fled Provence. During his travels (Italy, Greece, Turkey), he underwent a spiritual awakening, possibly due to exposure to ancient mystery schools.

Legend has it… In Italy, he met a group of monks, then identified Felice Peretti as a future Pope. From an August 1999 article (by Karl S. Kruszelnicki w/ Australia Broadcasting Co), Nostradamus met Peretti by accident in the street, caught a glimpse of the future, then knelt down before the man, and called him “His Holiness”.

Felice Peretti eventually became Pope Sixtus V in 1585.

Deep Dive Commentary

What religious statue? And what was the remark?

…crickets…crickets…

You’d think an event (worthy of the heresy claim) like that would be better documented.

So, he made a comment (no one remembers) about a statue (no one can locate) that pissed off the Catholic Church (which isn’t hard to do), the he fled the country (like Roman Polanski), had a spiritual awakening (which happens), met a clan of monks, and accurately revealed the right Pope.

Documents chronicling these moments offer no details, only a generic “story” or “legend” that focuses on his Jewish heritage as reason for the trouble. Perhaps it happened exactly as portrayed, but as a fiction writer, I’m not buying it.

That’d be like if I said…

“According to J. E. Rockwell’s Some Lumberjack Myths, from 1910, Paul Bunyan was an eight-foot lumberjack with superhuman strength. He weighed 300 pounds, and had a blue ox named Babe (or a pink ox named Old Brinny in W. D. Harrington’s Paul Bunyan’s Oxen, 1914). His stories began as North American oral folklore, then popularized by William B. Laughead in 1916. Sources claim Bunyan was born in Minnesota (and Michigan, and Wisconsin, and Maine, and Nova Scotia). And therefore, Paul Bunyan is super real.”

Myself, Cody Wayne Heuer, 3:58 pm on 4/25/2024

BUT, CODY, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FICTION…PLUS THEY CONTRADICT EACH OTHER!

Exactly…

The Mainstream Narrative

When whispers of heresy subsided, Nostradamus returned to France. In 1547, he married Anne Ponsarde (a wealthy widow), had six children, and published two books, including a medical cookbook The Traite des Fardemens, complete were Bubonic Plague treatments, cosmetics, candies, jams, and love potions.

And then, he shifted his focus to the “occult” and meditated for hours to induce visions.

In 1550, he published his first almanac containing astrology and predictions. Almanacs (a literary compilation) were super popular in France. The sudden success encouraged him to keep writing futurist claims.

In 1554, Nostradamus channeled focus into a massive opus, initially titled Centuries. In 1555, Les Prophesies (The Prophecies), was published. And then, whispers of religious persecution returned, forcing him to obscure his work into poetic quatrains—four-line verses—into multiple languages.

Deep Dive Commentary

The Jewish Virtual Library said at 14, Nos was said to have “talent for prophecy.” Yet, according to History.com, Bro didn’t go “psychic” until after he met Ms. Ponsarde. No word of spiritual gifts until after he fled France, either. And even then, his first psychic moment wasn’t until years later when he met Felice Peretti. So, which is it? 14? Or his early 40s?

Also…how are we so sure a man who published ‘love potion’ ingredients in a cookbook didn’t pick up the latest almanac, read the astrology section, and think, “I can do this.”

So, in 1555, when Nostradamus discovered the Medieval Cabal was after him, he went rogue and turned his ‘poetry’ into super-secret cryptic messages that only ‘real patriots’ could decipher.  How does one make poetry (or metaphorical wordplay) MORE CRYPTIC?

The Mainstream Narrative

Nostradamus enjoyed a good relationship with the Vatican. (History.com) It’s believed he never faced prosecution for heresy since his writings never extended to the practice of magic. As time passed, his popularity grew and he became a famous figure of the Renaissance.

Deep Dive Commentary

I’m sorry…what?

Nostradamus and the Big Bad Catholic Church were actually…bros? So, why’d he flee France? Did that super offensive remark he made (in 1538) about a religious idol not actually happen? Or will the 2030 history books say it was all blown out of proportion?

And if it was, why didn’t he reach out to the Vatican and say, “My bad, please don’t kill me.”

Was it all a scheme by the MMM (Medieval Mainstream Media) to build the prophet’s defiant brand, so they could one day capitalize on his memoirs? Also…why did he go all super-secret-decoder-cryptic with his poems if the religious boogeyman didn’t actually hate him?

Yes, it’s ridiculous, that is why I’m mocking it. It’s this kind of historical inconsistency that really makes me question the dude’s legitimacy. Nostradamus died in 1566, and I’m sure a lot probably happened between 1555, and 1566, but my purpose with his origin story has been made.

IN CONCLUSION

Why? you may be asking, who cares if Nostradamus was real or not?

His future prophecies push despair, that’s why it matters.

First of all, his future predictions are constantly being reinterpreted. Constantly jumping from one forecast of chaos to another. (We’ll delve into this in a later blog, don’t worry.) Even worse, his prophecies are rarely, if ever, interpreted as hopeful, or promising. Never. The “Nostradamus was a real prophet” narrative is always ends with a horrific conclusion to humanity. I know tales of destruction sell, but it isn’t true. If you believe the Bible, if you read the Book of Revelation the Prophecies of Nostradamus read like bad fanfiction.

The prophecies are generic, confusing, and always bad. It’s either “The world will end by a world war,” or “humanity will kill itself” or “a powerful man will destroy civilization with the push of a button.”

It’s very dark stuff, and these so-called Nostradamus experts are still out there using the History Channel to cast out these devastating spells into the minds of the youth. To some, it is entertainment. But to many, it is seen as truth. And it only leads you into despair.

Stay tuned for my next installment…which will deep dive into his prophecies.

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Now…check out this killer bibliography:

1. “Nostradamus.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 11 Aug. 2023, https://www.history.com/topics/paranormal/nostradamus.
2. Johnson, Robert. “14 Famous Predictions By Nostradamus” Business Insider, Insider Inc., 31 Dec. 2011, https://www.businessinsider.com/predictions-of-nostradamus-2018-3.
3. “Inquisition.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 8 Feb. 2024, https://www.history.com/topics/religion/inquisition.
4. “Nostradamus.” Jewish Virtual Library, American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise, https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/nostradamus.
5. “Some Lumberjack Myths — Part 1.” The Kansas City Star, 8 Apr. 1910, https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-kansas-city-star-1910-04-08-some-lum/124350323/
6. “Anne Ponsarde Gemelle in Biographical Summaries of Notable People.” MyHeritage, https://www.myheritage.com/research/record-10182-2701389/anne-ponsarde-gemelle-in-biographical-summaries-of-notable-people.
7. “Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821).” Biography.name, https://www.en.biography.name/leaders/44-france/30-napoleon-bonaparte-1769-1821#:~:text=1769%20On%20August%2C%2015th,consider%20it%20a%20birth%20defect.
8. Dickey, Colin. “Quack Prophet.” Lapham’s Quarterly, https://www.laphamsquarterly.org/future/quack-prophet.
9. “Matthew 24.” Bible Study Tools, Salem Media Group, https://www.biblestudytools.com/kjv/matthew/24.html.