Here’s a quick tale for you. I almost got scammed by someone pretending to be Venmo support–they half-succeeded, but MOSTLY lost. However, the call center had new tricks. AI, psychology, and strategic timing.

(Also…I’m assuming it’s a call center, The Beekeeper with Jason Stathem is currently replaying in my head.)

Around 11:41 am, I got two calls from a Pennsylvania number. I didn’t pick up…so, they called again. And then, I got a text.

“VENMO HERE!” followed by a 6 digit code.

My first thought was…

I have a Venmo account?

and then…

Oh, yeah, from like a billion years ago.

The PA number called again, so I answered…

The voice on the other end? An AI-generated customer service bot, saying “someone is trying to gain access to your Venmo account…THROUGH…your phone number.”

My instinct was like “this feels weird.”

My body started freaking out. “This is it! Something bad is happening.”

My mind was still like…

“I have…a Venmo account?”

“Press 1 if you wish to block this person.”

I hung up.

Another call came through, same number, same recorded script.

This time, I tapped 1.

“Okay…” pause, followed by “put in the code that we sent you if you wish to block them.”

I hung up.

Two more calls from the same number, and here I’m thinking…”five calls in a span of 10 minutes? That’s unusual,” followed by “someone must be trying to access my account.”

Still didn’t know I had a Venmo account.

I called the number back…Busy Signal. The number from PA calls back.

My instinct was like “This still feels weird.”

My body was like “WTF IS GOING ON! WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME?”

My mind was like “…I have…a Venmo account?” followed a sneaky little voice, “see where this goes, you haven’t used Venmo since…ever, right?”

If they had tried to infiltrate of my active accounts, I would’ve blocked the number and left it at that, but BECAUSE it was about an OLD ACCOUNT from 10 YEARS AGO, I took the bait.

So…I rolled the dice, listened to the AI customer service bot, pressed 1, and then the code came back, the same 6 digit code. I put it into the keypad, thinking the texts and the phone calls were related.

SPOILER ALERT: KINDA…BUT NOT REALLY.

“Okay, thanks,” says the AI bot, followed by something like “we’ll take it from here, and block this person.”

THAT’S HOW THEY GOT ME…The Savior Scenario.

Dark, but Genius.

I checked all of my active accounts, nothing’s gone. All good. I checked my main email for any notifications…nothing. And I start to think…maybe it was a legit customer service rep?

NOPE.

NEVER.

NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

My body was at peace, because again, I didn’t recall ever having a Venmo account, so…what are they gonna take? But I mentally couldn’t let it go…so I looked into my old email account, the one I made before puberty. I still use it, but barely.

• JUNK MAIL: sign-in attempt from new device. 11:41 am (uh oh)

• JUNK MAIL: new remembered device added to your account. 11:43 am (uh oh even more)

TURNS OUT…I did have a Venmo account…and the one and only transaction was in 2015, so I was mostly right.

But then I noticed a new device on the account from…

SHANGHAI, SH

AGAIN…Jokes on them. And emulating Michael Scott (from the infamous Office episode, Dinner Party) I shouted “Good luck getting anything out of that $0.00 balance and expired bank card from 2017, babe!”.

I detached the Shanghi device, grateful the scam stopped there, then closed the Venmo account completely.

So…here’s how I think it went down, and here’s why I’m posting about it.

Scammer Breakdown (…Allegedly)

1. They Knew Just Enough

A phone number and a Venmo account (from an old data breach, maybe, don’t know, but probably).

2. . AI Customer Service Bot Calls Me

This is where it got confusing (for me at least). It sounded like customer support—that robotic-yet-official voice says:

“Someone is trying to gain access to your Venmo account through your phone number.”

And like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, or a male feminist trying to get laid at an abortion rally, they threw down the White-Knight savior card. “Something’s wrong here, but don’t worry, we’ll protect you…now show me your neck.”

And then:

“Press 1 to block this person.”

The urgency (and the confusion) is also a big key.

These demented dinkheads rely on confusion, they will bombard you with calls over and over again get you into a frazzled state (I learned this in 2022, after someone scammed my dad’s Uber account, but I still fell for it. And yes, I feel a little embarrassed). It’s not a new scam, but it is ever-evolving.

3. They Triggered the Venmo Code

They went to Venmo, and hit “forgot password,” triggering a legit 6-digit security code. Followed by:

“Please plug the 6-digit-code we just texted you.”

That’s how they did it, that’s how these slanty-eyed douchebags got me. “…the 6-digit code ‘We’ just texted you.” It was the ‘we’ that got me.

And yes, I called them slanty-eyed douchebags. Let’s look at it logically for a moment, shall we? These loathsome loons, these deceptive dingleberries like to steal resources from every-day people, they target the elderly and the vulnerable, and they do it without remorse, yet there will be people out there saying I’m the bad guy for A.) pointing at their deeds and B.) calling them by an ‘insulting name.’

These pathetic parasites destroy lives, I’m sure they can handle ‘words.’

4. Boom—They’re In

They complete the code, then complete the login with something like:

“Thanks. We’ll take it from here.”

And then they disappeared.

5. Shanghai Slips In

I notice a new device logged into my Venmo account from Shanghai. They’d officially gained access.

Good news for me: the account was a digital graveyard. $0.00 balance. Expired card. Nothing in there to steal. But still—they got in. That’s the point.

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Spot the Red Flags

If you’ve made it this far. Here’s what to watch for:

• Random 6-digit codes: Someone’s trying to log in. Do NOT give it out.
• Fake AI customer rep calls (before/after code)? It’s social engineering (and where I got tripped up, that and the age of the account). Hang up.
• Local/familiar-looking phone numbers? They’re spoofed. Doesn’t mean it’s safe.
• AI bots asking “press 1”? Classic trick. If you interact, you’re in the game.
• No real company support will ever ask for logins code over the phone. Ever. (Thanks ChatGPT…for these tips)

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Final Word

They got me, well, they almost got me. They were fast, convincing, and just truthful enough to feel real. The savior angle—“we’re here to protect you”—is what sells the lie.

I got lucky, but that isn’t a strategy. Shut down old accounts, never give out codes, and trust your gut if something feels…off.

Also…F*ck those guys.

Sure, I realize our battle on this realm is not against flesh and blood, but principalities of darkness. And I’m well aware that Lucifer and his legion of butt-boy demons are behind all this–working those vacant Shanghi meat vessels like marinette puppets, but still–f*ck those guys.

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Dear Scammers (An Epilogue):

You may think you walk within the shadows. You may think you’ve mastered the art of deception, or believe that your deeds are invisible, and that your greasy, little, masturbating fingers are forever untouchable.

Make no mistake—your actions are seen.

Not just by victims, those who catch on, or the security teams who clean up after you—but by a higher power. A loving, righteous Creator who doesn’t overlook injustice, who knows every heart, who sees every intention, who delivers absolutely perfect justice.

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Romans 12:19 (KJV)

You may live years—decades even—totally free. But that’s not mercy, you’re just a retard who doesn’t see the lion watching from afar, an over-indulgant serpent who doesn’t realize he’s consuming his own tail.

You’re not just scamming people. You’re sowing poisonous seeds into rotten soil, and expecting a good harvest.

Again, that’s what retards do.

There’s still time to walk away from that (and, perhaps, on some deep, deep, deep spiritual level, I have sympathy for you turds). I’m not your savior, I’m not your judge, nor am I your executioner, but…

I will mock you and I will reveal your tricks to those who don’t see them.