Was Nostradamus Real?

May 2, 2024

Comedy, Deep Dive, Fact or Fiction, Historical Breakdown, Nostradamus, Oracle

What if…Nostradamus wasn’t a real person?

His story, in my opinion, sounds artificial. It reads more like something out of a Hollywood script or a Netflix series rather than the historical account of a living man with a soul who thought thoughts and dumped dumps.

The Mainstream Narrative

1.

Nostradamus was born Michel de Nostradame on December 14 or 21, 1503, in Saint-Remy-de-Provence (South of France). He was one of nine children born to Reyniere de St-Remy and her husband Jaume de Nostradame, a well-to-do grain dealer and part-time notary of Jewish descent. (According to History.com)

Guy Gassonet, Michel’s grandfather, living in France, converted to Catholicism and changed the family surname to “de Nostradamus” to avoid persecution during the Spanish Inquisition (Spain rooted out non-Christians from the monarchy) between 1478-1834.

And now…some Deep Dive Commentary…

The name change was more of a precaution than a response to a specific reason. France was not directly affected by the Inquisition., so it reads more like an “I hear bad things are afoot, just to be safe, let’s change our name to sound less Jewish” kind of thing.

FUN FACT: What did Nostradamus have in common with Woody Allen, Harry Houdini, Jon Stewart, Kirk Douglas, Bob Dylan, and Gene Simmons?

That’s right, they also changed their names to avoid persecution.

Woody Allen was born Allen Konigsberg.

Harry Houdini: Erich Weisz.

Jon Stewart: Jonathan Leibowitz.

Kirk Douglas: Issur Danielovitch.

Gene Simmons: Chaim Witz.

The entertainment industry is predominantly run by those of Jewish descent. Which begs the question…where is this “oppression” coming from? But that is a topic for another time.

2.

According to History.com, the early life of Nostradamus is, mostly, unknown, but tends to indicate that he was crazy intelligent. And like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, he was too smart for his age and entered the University of Avignon to study medicine at 14. Early on, his maternal grandfather, Jean de St. Remy, tutored him in Latin, Greek, Hebrew, and math. It’s believed Remy exposed the young “prophet” to the ancient rites of Jewish tradition and astrology, sighting great intellect and potential in his grandson.

According to the Jewish Virtual Library, both of his grandfathers were court physicians who influenced him in the ways of medicine and herbal folk medicine, but also believed the kid showed a “talent for prophecy” at a young age…

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE…

They also expanded his education through the “forbidden” arts of Kabbalah and Alchemy.

Deep Dive Commentary

Don’t most grandparents see great intellect and potential in their grandchildren?

I’m an uncle, (arguably the best ever), and I see insane intellect, talent, and potential in my nieces and nephews. Yes, Young Nos getting into medical school at 14 is wild, especially since teens today are more into Minecraft, TikTok, pretending to be autistic for attention and weird social clout, and so on.

All I’m saying is…I don’t see why the grandfather’s opinion is so important aside from, you know, nepotism.

3.

A year later, in 1517, Michel was forced to leave school due to the Bubonic plague outbreak. And then…he did what most 15-year-olds do during a nationwide pandemic…he traveled the countryside, researching herbal remedies and working as an apothecary. In 1522, he went to the University of Montpellier to finish his doctorate in medicine, where he quarreled with the Catholic priests, who dismissed his belief in astrology. And (according to History.com) when the academic higher-ups discovered his apothecary skills, they wanted him expelled.

But never actually did, because in 1525, at 22, Nostradamus received his medical license.

Deep Dive Commentary

Interesting stuff, I will admit…however…

4.

According to the Jewish Virtual Library, around this time, King Louis XII (of France) had ordered all Jews to be baptized. Nostradamus’ family complied but continued to secretly follow their religious tradition.

Deep Dive Commentary

I recently asked ChatGpt, whom I call Gregory, about an edict from King Louis XII ordering that all Jews become baptized and this is what I received…

Louis XII, the King of France, did not issue an order for all Jews to be baptized during his reign. However, there were instances of forced conversions and persecution of Jews in various parts of Europe during the medieval and early modern periods…

During Nostradamus’s lifetime, Jews in France faced discrimination and periodic expulsions, but there is no record of a specific decree issued by Louis XII ordering all Jews to be baptized. It’s important to note that the treatment of Jews varied throughout different regions and time periods, and instances of forced conversions were not uncommon in Europe during the Middle Ages and Renaissance.

ChatGPT aka Gregory, at 1:59 pm on 4/22/2024

So…according to ChatGPT, there was no official decree from Louis XII demanding the baptism of the Jewish population. Which made me question another historical incident…

While there is no single document that explicitly orders the Holocaust, there is ample historical evidence to demonstrate Adolf Hitler’s central role in orchestrating the genocide of six million Jews, along with millions of others deemed “undesirable” by the Nazi regime. While Hitler may not have issued a specific decree ordering the Holocaust in the form of a formal written document, his speeches, writings, and directives to his subordinates make his intentions clear.

ChatGPT aka Gregory, at 2:19pm on 4/22/2024

So, we’ve got two historical events, both involving religious persecution, with little or no evidence of an official order, edict, or mandate from those in power. Interesting parallel…

5.

The Jewish Virtual Library expands on his time at Montpellier, claiming young Michel was “dissatisfied with the ignorance of his teachers about such matters as personal hygiene and the dangers of bleeding and catharsis,” but stayed to complete his studies.

Afterward, he ventured into the countryside to help the victims of the Bubonic Plague. His approach, which worked, was prescribing fresh air, fresh water, and clean bedding. He also had the dead, rotting corpses removed from the public and the streets cleaned.

AND…ON TOP OF THAT!!

He created the “rose pill,” a throat lozenge made from rose hips (rich with Vitamin C). His patients were advised to keep the “pills,” under their tongues at all times. He is believed to have saved thousands in Narbonne, Carcassone, Toulouse, and Bordeaux.

The Jewish Virtual Library goes on to claim that every morning before sunrise, the young almost-famous prophet went into the fields to oversee the harvest of rose petals which he would then dry and crush into a fine powder.

Now, I realize some of you reading this are probably thinking…”Well done, Nos, way to save France by giving people rose-flavored Life-Savers, and telling them to wash themselves.” And while a part of me is right there with you, my skeptical side has some questions.

Deep Dive Commentary

Let’s unpack this a bit. So this 19-year-old med student thought his University mentors were ignorant (meaning “lacking knowledge) for hygienic reasons? Having an issue with bleeding practices, sure, I get that, but hygiene? The thought of people on the street lacking access to clean water and bathing receptacles is believable, completely.

BUT…are we expected to believe that the medical professionals of the oldest university in the world, who lived indoors, were IGNORANT to the benefits of hygienic practices. As if the thought of cleaning wounds and wrapping open sores never once entered their minds? Are you kidding me?

INTROSPECTIVE THEATER SCENE

We see Dr. Dennis DirtyFace (played by Hugh Jackson), with the University of Montpellier Medical Department pacing his office. He looks out his window, sees corpses in the street and the poor begging for bread. He feels horrible, but repulsed, then falls into deep thought. He calls a meeting with his closest colleague Prof. Nathanial NeverWipes (played by Ryan Gosling), who shows up ten minutes later.

Dr. DirtyFace holds the silence, then says “We need to sit down one of these days and figure out this plague situation. And I’ll be honest, I’ve thought about it a lot, mostly in my bathtub, but never with another person.”

“Wanna talk about it now?” Prof. NeverWipes asks, finding a chair. “I’m not busy.”

“Okay. But I’ve gotta say I’ve tried all there is to try. Tried literally everything!”

“Me too,” Prof. NeverWipes says, shifting in his seat, “I can’t think of anything else to do to help those poor plague people.”

Dr. DirtyFace notes his colleague’s behavior. “What are you doing, Prof. NeverWipes?”

“You gotta get this chair re-upholstered. The fabric is itchy. Stays with me even after I stand up. But I agree, we gotta do something about this plague. Have you tried blood-letting?”

“I have,” Dr. DirtyFace replies, “they always pass out from the blood loss.”

“Hmmm,” Prof. NeverWipes says, standing up to scratch himself, “what if we wrapped them in garlic-soaked fabric?”

“You think that would work?”

Prof. NeverWipes shrugs. “It would hide the smell.”

“True, but we need something to fix the plague, not hide it.”

“Okay, how about…” Prof. NeverWipes says, then shakes his head. “Never mind.”

Dr. DirtyFace is intrigued. “No, tell me.”

“I was just gonna say, we could feed them mercury-laced potions, but we’ve been doing that since the lockdowns started and…uh, most of them start vomiting or defecating, so…”

“Easy, bro,” Dr. DirtyFace replies, “I just finished lunch.”

“Sorry,” Prof. NeverWipes says, then sits back down. “Hey! Wait a minute?”

“What?”

“It’s just a thought, but maybe…”

Dr. DirtyFace is on pins and needles. “What?”

“What if we did nothing?”

“Interesting, Prof. NeverWipes, go on.”

“Maybe the only way these plague people will survive is…if they let those sores heal as is, natural, open, and dirty.”

Dr. DirtyFace thinks about it. “Brilliant. And while we are at it, we should leave all the dead, rotting corpses on the street. It’ll deter people from being homeless. A classic two-birds-one-stone situation, Well done, Prof. NeverWipes, you’re a genius.”

“Takes one to know one, Dr. DirtyFace.”

Meanwhile, 19-year-old Michel de Nostradamus, is winning at life. Crushing rose petals into powder, making pills, telling the homeless to take baths, and getting Waste Management companies to de-zombie the streets. Holy Cow…this Kid Nostradamus was legit ahead of his time, YET, still studied under the same medical community he thought was too IGNORANT to know that cleanliness helped deter sickness.

So…he was smarter than them, thought they were stupid, but still studied under them? Does that make sense? At all?

“Yeah, because he’s a psychic,” remarks some snarky New-Age Reiki Master, covering his client in crystals and charging $75 to remove negative energy, “Nostradamus was a very intuitive channel, he was right about a lot.”

No, he wasn’t, but we’ll get to that later.

Oh, and…another fun fact about these life-saving “rose pills.” The Jewish Virtual Library says that every morning before sunrise (EVERY SINGLE MORNING), he’d go out into the fields and overlook the harvest of rose petals before crushing them down.

QUESTION: Who’s field? Where did these roses come from? Did Nostradamus have his own field? His own farm? For there to be a harvest, seeds must first be sowed into the soil.

So…did he plant them himself?

OR…did he steal the fruit of some hard-working, Good-Ol’ Boy’s labor and play it off as his own? Most roses require a good 3-4 years to reach maturity, so did this Kaballah-trained, astrology guru with a “talent for prophecy” take the time to plow and sow his own field?

Or…did he steal them?

Also…why before sunrise? Wouldn’t it make more sense to harvest petals after the sun dried the morning dew? Sure, farmers typically harvest vegetables at first light, but rose petals? Even inexperienced botanists recommend harvesting roses on a dry, sunny morning after the dew has evaporated. Could it be…Nostradamus harvested before sunrise, because his neighbor was on to his thievery schemes, and needed to get in and get out like a phantom?

6.

And just like that, Michel was famous (according to History.com).

This celebrityhood earned him financial support from the citizens of Provence and, in 1531, an invitation to work with Jules-Cesar Scaliger, a huge scholar in Agen (Southwest France). Around this time, he was married (to a nameless woman) and had two kids (also unknown).

Some historians theorize his first wife was Henriette d’Encausse, but the jury is still out on that one. Sadly, they died in 1534, due to the plague, while Michel was in Italy. The death of his family caused him to fall out of favor with everyone including Scaliger.

Deep Dive Commentary

So…Nostradamus got famous, gained a celebrity mentor, got married, had kids, went to Italy, returned to find his family dead from the same plague he was helping eradicate, and then everyone hated him. That scenario reads more like the opening scene of a Hollywood movie than an actual real-life event. It could be true, but it reads artificial to me.

First of all, if he was famous, how come his first family remains nameless? Sure, they didn’t have Twitter, or Facebook back then, but the guy was constantly writing. Writers write what they know and what they believe is important.

So…how does a man who published 10 “centuries” of predictions (942 quatrains, each one being four verses) forget to document his first family? William Shakespeare (born in 1564) wrote 37 plays in his life and his family was, at least, documented. So…why is Nostradamus’s first family still a secret?

Also…how is it that someone with an “impressive cure rate” unable to save his own family? Did they never talk about his work? Did he conceal his “progressive methods” of lozenges, fresh air, and frequent showering from those closest to him?

That’d be like…if Dr. Genius, M.D. discovered the cure to leukemia, saved 95% of his patients, but lost his wife and kids to leukemia that same year. Doesn’t make sense, unless it’s merely a story used to pull on heartstrings.

7.

In 1538, Michel made an offhand comment about a religious statue, and was charged with heresy. Rather than stand trial, he pulled a Roman Polanski and fled Provence. During his travels (Italy, Greece, Turkey), it’s believed he underwent a spiritual awakening, possibly due to exposure to ancient mystery schools.

Legend has it… In Italy, he encountered a group of Franciscan monks, and identified Felice Peretti as a future Pope. Based on an article from August 1999 (by Karl S. Kruszelnicki with Australia Broadcasting Corp), Nostradamus met Peretti by accident in the street, caught a glimpse of the future, then knelt down before the man, and called him “His Holiness”.

Felice Peretti eventually ascended to the top as Pope Sixtus V in 1585.

Deep Dive Commentary

What religious statue? And what was the remark?

…crickets…crickets…

You’d think an event like this, especially one seen as the catalyst to Nostradamus’ prophetic career, would be better documented. Am I right? It is the historical generalization of these accounts that really makes me question them. And…I did what any intrigued party would do and, once again, asked ChatGPT…

There is historical evidence to suggest that Nostradamus encountered legal troubles in his early life due to his controversial remarks about a religious statue. However, the specific details surrounding this incident are not entirely clear, and accounts vary among historical sources.

It’s believed that Nostradamus, who was trained as a physician but also had a keen interest in astrology and the occult, made remarks that were deemed heretical by local authorities. These remarks may have been related to his skepticism towards traditional religious beliefs or practices, although the exact nature of the comments remains unclear.

ChatGPT aka Gregory, at 2:21pm on 4/24/2024

So, he made a comment (that no one remembers) about a statue (that no one can locate) that pissed off the Catholic Church (which isn’t hard to do), fled the country, had a spiritual awakening (which happens), met a clan of Franciscan monks, and accurately revealed the one would become Pope.

Now, that’s all very interesting, however, the documents chronicling this chance encounter all describe it as a “legend” or a “story” rather than a historical account. It could’ve happened exactly the way it has been portrayed, but as a fiction writer, myself, I’m not buying it.

That’d be like if I said…

“According to J. E. Rockwell’s Some Lumberjack Myths, published in 1910, Paul Bunyan was an eight-foot tall lumberjack with superhuman strength. He weighed 300 pounds, had a massive blue ox named Babe (or a big pink ox named Old Brinny according to W. D. Harrington’s Paul Bunyan’s Oxen circa 1914).

His stories began as North American logging oral folklore and was later popularized by writer William B. Laughead in 1916. On top of that, various sources claim Paul Bunyan was born in Minnesota (and in Michigan, and in Wisconsin, and in Maine, and in Nova Scotia). And because of all this, I believe that Paul Bunyan is super real.”

Myself, Cody Wayne Heuer, 3:58 pm on 4/25/2024

BUT, CODY, THOSE ACCOUNTS READ LIKE NORTH AMERICAN FOLKLORE SIMILAR TO THE TALES OF JOHN HENRY AND PECOS BILL, PLUS THEY CONTRADICT EACH OTHER!

Exactly…

8.

Years later, as whispers of heresy subsided, Nostradamus returned to France to resume his practice. In 1547, he settled back in Salon-de-Provence, married Anne Ponsarde (a wealthy widow with whom he had six children), and published two books. A translation of Galen, the Roman physician, and a medical cookbook The Traite des Fardemens. It included Bubonic Plague treatments, cosmetics, candies, jams, and love potions.

And then, he shifted his focus to the “occult” and meditated for hours to induce visions.

In 1550, he published his first almanac containing astrology info and predictions. Almanacs (a literary compilation of farming and merchant info, entertaining folklore, and predictions of the future) were super popular in France. This unexpected success not only encouraged him to continue writing futurist claims, but further increased his fame.

In 1554, Nostradamus went full oracle and channeled his focus into a massive opus, initially titled Centuries. He planned to write 10 volumes (100 predictions forecasting the following 2,000 years). In 1555, the book, Les Prophesies (The Prophecies), was published. And then, suddenly, whispers of religious persecution returned, forcing him to obscure his prophecies’ into poetic quatrains—rhymed four-line verses—in multiple languages (Greek, Latin, Italian, and Provencal, a South France dialect).

Deep Dive Commentary

Okay…lots to unpack.

In 1547, he teamed up with Anne Ponsarde, a wealthy widow, with whom he had six kids.

And before you ask…No, I’m not knocking him for that. I mean, as an artist (in the biz now for 15+ years), who’d rather be working in films and penning twisted, little Twilight Zone-esque cautionary tales than hustling as a delivery driver or a freelance medical transporter, I totally get hitching your horse to someone outside your age/class range. Been there, done that!

By the way, Jen, if you are reading this, hi. 😉 Congrats on the new grandbaby.

Oh, and…remember earlier in #2, when Michel was 14 and his grandfathers, according to the Jewish Virtual Library, described him as having a “talent for prophecy?”

Well, interestingly enough, according to History.com, Bro didn’t turn “psychic” until after he returned to Provence in 1547 and got with Ms. Milf Ponsarde. That and there’s no word of his spiritual abilities until after he fled for making that sour, and probably hilarious, remark (that no one remembers) about that religious figure (that no one can locate).

And even then, his first psychic moment wasn’t until years later when he met Felice Peretti on the street. So…which is it? Was he 14? Or in his early 40s?

AND NOW…MORE INTROSPECTIVE THEATER

It’s 1549, and we see 46-year-old Nostradamus (played by Jason Mamoa) walking through the Salon-de-Provence Farmer’s Market. His wife, Anne (Margot Robbie), leads the way. She isn’t preggers, but she wants to be. She sees a little girl in a red dress, playing with a German Shepard dog, with her parents. She looks to her husband, eyeing a black onyx crystal at the New-Age booth. The hippy chick (Drew Barrymore) told him it prevents hair loss, but he is skeptical.

“Nazzie,” Anne says, tugging on the sleeve of his Gandalf the Grey cloak, “remember when you said you wanted children.”

“Uh huh,” Nostradamus mumbles, his eyes now on the moonstone gems, “What’s that?”

“I want a child, Nazzie. When are we gonna try to for a baby?”

“Uh, about that, uh, our rent check bounced, so we’re gonna have to reign in some of our…”

“Almanacs!” cries a young salesman (Tom Holland) from the sidewalk, oddly dressed like a 20th century paper boy. “Get your Old World 1550 almanacs!” Nostradamus turns, forgets his wife’s question, then approaches the kid. “What’s the New Moon gonna do for you? Will Aquarius come early?” The kid cries, waving a yellow book in the air. “Does regular bathing fight the Bubonic Plague? Or is it all a scam pushed by the Elites to turn us into mermaids? Find out–“

“Excuse me, young man,” Nostradamus says, interrupting the kid, “what are you wearing? I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Me neither, but the guy writing this story thinks it will give the audience a cleaner image in their minds than the typical garb of today. He’s also exaggerating like this because he wants more people to look into your life rather than simply believe what the mainstream historians have been saying for the last fifty years. It is fascinating, but there are inconsistencies.”

“Interesting,” Nostradamus says, combing his beard. “Is this writer, by chance, a wizard?”

“No, just a dude with some interesting theories. Mainstream history, in his opinion, appears to have been altered to fit an agenda rather than tell the truth, so he’s using his own talent as a fiction writer to speculate and ask questions.”

“What agenda, may I ask?”

“The end-times narrative. He thinks your predictions will be used to push people away from God and to normalize impending doom and despair. You see, 500 years from today, people will be glued to a little black electronic square in their pocket. It will keep people connected, but will also be used to harness fear. If people believe a man accurately predicted the rise of an evil dictator or the dropping of world-destroying bombs, then they’ll start looking to men for protection rather than God.”

“Uh huh.”

“He believes your predictions will be used to scare people into a scarcity mindset, into never having children, covering themselves with masks and plastic, and getting them to purchase stuff they don’t need like…underground bunkers, cheaply-made solar panels, way too much hand sanitizer and every box of toilet paper the grocery story has in stock.”

Nostradamus wasn’t paying attention. His focus was on the alchemist booth in the distance. After a long silence, he looks to the yellow book, “May I see that?” Tom Holland, still dressed like a kid Christian Bale in Disney’s Newsies, offers up the book. Nostradamus takes it, scans the contents, then flips ahead to the astrology section. “Do people read this?”

“Yes, sir,” the kid says, “and apparently, these almanacs will exist centuries from now.”

“Like this exact almanacs?”

“No, well, maybe in some hoarder’s closet or a modern-day museum, but this type of book still exists. Oh, and astrology will be huge for women. Not sure why, but I think it may have something to do with their menstrual cycles and their moon moods.”

And then Nostradamus got an idea…

“Are you alright, Mister?”

Nostradamus looks to the young newsie. “I’m better than alright.” He turns to his wife (still played by Robbie) with dollar signs in his eyes. “I’ve got a plan, Anne.”

“You do?”

“Yes, now let’s go home and get you preggers.”

Yes, yes, yes, I realize this is probably NOT AT ALL how it happened.

However…

How can we be so sure that a man who published the ingredients to a ‘love potion,’ (come on now, the hour is getting late, let us not talk falsely) didn’t pick up the latest almanac, read the astrology/folklore sections, and thought, “I can do this.”

Anyways…moving on.

In 1555, after The Prophecies, was published, Nostradamus started hearing new whispers of religious persecution. That’s right. The 16th-Century Global Cabal was after him. He knew too much. The Deep State had put a target on his back.

So what did he do? The only thing he could do. He hopped on Medieval Reddit and switched up his prophetic format, turning them into super-secret cryptic messages that only the ‘real patriots’ could decipher.

First Entry: The election was stolen, but never fear because Donald J. Trump and the white-hats are secretly in control, watching and waiting for the perfect time to reveal themselves and return the world to the glory days of JFK.

All kidding aside, that’s how I view the prophecies of Nostradamus.

Qanon.

The prophecies are real. Rarely accurate, if ever, and easily explained away.

And finally, 9.

Nostradamus enjoyed a good relationship with the Vatican. (History.com) It’s believed he never faced prosecution for heresy because his writings never extended to the practice of magic. As time passed, his popularity grew and he became an insanely famous figure of the Renaissance.

Deep Dive Commentary

I’m sorry…what?

So, this entire time, Michel de Nostradamus and the Big Bad Catholic Church were actually cool with each other? Like they were on the same page after all these years? So why did he flee France? So, that super offensive remark he had made (in 1538) about a religious statue that led to charges of heresy, that didn’t actually happen? Or will the history books in 2030 suddenly say it was all blown out of proportion?

And if it was, why didn’t Nostradamus reach out to his bros in the Vatican and be like, “So…I hear my hilarious joke about one of your statues has pissed off the Pope, and now you want me to stand trial, this true?”

Was it all a scheme by the MMM (the Medieval Mainstream Media) to build the soon-to-be prophet’s rebellious brand, so that when he returned they could capitalize on the sale of his memoirs? Also…why did he go all super-secret-decoder-ring-cryptic with his predictions if the religious entity oppressing him didn’t actually have beef with him?

*Loud Blaring Television News Intro Music plays, and the camera focuses on the anchor.*

“Good Evening, this is MNN (Medieval News Network). Have you heard of this hip, new prophet, Nostradamus? Well, researcher beware, because he has literally just mocked a religious statue, and now the Catholic Church has charged him with heresy. He is set to stand before the Inquisition later this week. Back to you, Tanner.”

Later that week:

“Michel Nostradamus is in hot water yet again. According to our totally reliable sources, the young heretic has chosen NOT to appear before the Inquisition and has fled the country. He has angered the Catholic Church, and the Pope has just released a scathing rebuke against the highly offensive comment about a religious statue that we at MNN have, unfortunately, yet to find. That said, it totally exists, trust us. We may never know how this story ends, but if the young prophet ever returns, I’ll be first in line to get his new book. Back to you, Tanner.”

Yes, it’s ridiculous, that is why I’m mocking it. It’s this kind of historical inconsistency that really makes me question the dude’s legitimacy.

And now…I will conclude this blog with something I’d like to call…

7 Famous Predictions: Fact or Fiction?

The Great Fire of London (1666): On Sept 2, 1666, a small fire started in the bakery of Thomas Farriner on Pudding Lane in London. Three days later, the blaze consumed the city.

Century II, Quatrain 51

“The blood of the just will be lacking in London,
Burnt up in the fire of ’66:
The ancient Lady will topple from her high place,
Many of the same sect will be killed.”

6 people died, at the most 10 deaths were reported, so…other than the 1666 date, it’s safe to say that this 4-line stanza is far from accurate. My Rating: 2/10

2. The French Revolution: In 1789, the French people revolted against their current aristocratic rule. The peasants took control of Paris and forced their demands onto the royal class. Those in power were locked away and later beheaded at the guillotine.

Century I, Quatrain 63

“Songs, chants, and demands will come from the enslaved
Held captive by the nobility in their prisons
At a later date, headless idiots
Will take these as divine utterances.”

That’s it? That’s the Nostradamus prospective? This reads like “the cries of prisoners will one day be perceived as whispers from Heaven by stupid people killed by way of the guillotine?” I’m sorry, I kinda get where it’s going, but this reads more like the ramblings of a mad man than an oracle describing revolution. My Rating: 1/10

3. Napoleon Bonaparte: Napoleon Bonaparte rose to power during the French Revolution. In 1799, he staged a coup d’état and became the First Consul of France. He established the French Empire in 1804 and declared himself Emperor, expanded French territory into much of Europe, then launched a devastating invasion of Russia (1812). The Battle of Leipzig (1813) forced him to abdicate and he was exiled to the island of Elba. In 1815, he returned, but was exiled again after the Battle of Waterloo, then died in 1821.

Century I, Quatrain 162

“The child will be born with two teeth in his mouth,
Stones will fall during a great battle:
A noise will frighten the army,
Blood will flow, rocks will fall, a great famine will come.”

According to Biography.name, Napoleon was born with two teeth. Did. Not. Know. That. Kinda interesting too, since that defect affects one out of every 3,000 infants. Which begs the question…did he look like a serpent before the rest of his teeth came in? Other than that, the following “stones will fall…” just describes war and the aftermath, nothing specific to the rise of Napoleon. A bit of a stretch, I would argue. My Rating: 2/10

Century VIII, Quatrain 1

“Pau, Nay, Loron, more fire than blood,
Swimming in praise, the great man hurries to the confluence.
He will refuse entry to the Piuses,
Pampon and Durrance will confine them.”

Robert Johnson at Business Insider (based on an article from 2011) claims this is a reference to Pau, Nay, and Oloron, three towns in southern France. The “more fire than blood” refers to Napoleon’s non-noble lineage, and the Piuses speaks to Popes Pius VI and VII, both who had been imprisoned by Napoleon. This one isn’t too far out there, I’ll be honest, it connects dots better than the others… Oh wait, the Pau, Nay, and Loron is usually viewed as an anagram for NAPAULON ROY, or Napoleon the King in French. I’ll give it a 4/10 (Not bad, but mostly off)

4. The Assassination of John F. Kennedy: John Kennedy received numerous death threats and was gunned down in the afternoon of November 22, 1963. Bobby Kennedy was killed just after Midnight on June 5, 1968.

Century 10, Quatrain 66

“The ancient task will be completed
From on high, evil will fall on the great man
A dead innocent will be accused of the deed
The guilty one will remain in the mist.”

So…“From on high, evil…” probably describes the Book Depository in Dallas, TX. “The great man,” refers to JFK. “A dead innocent will be accused…” must mean Lee Harvey Oswald, who was later assassinated, was actually innocent, and “the guilty one will remain in the mist” must mean the killer is still out there. Not bad, but…if Oswald was innocent, then that must mean the “From on high, evil…” refers to something different, perhaps more metaphorical. Also…what does “the mist” refer to, huh? It’s not bad, I could believe it. My Rating: 7/10

Century 6, Quatrain 97

“The great man will be struck down in the day by a thunderbolt,
An evil deed foretold by the bearer of a petition.
According to the prediction, another falls at night time.
Conflict at Reims, London and a pestilence in Tuscany.”

“The great man” or JFK was “struck down in the day by a thunderbolt” (aka the magic bullet). Some researchers say “petition” was a reference to the countless death threats he received. “Another falls at night time” is said to be Bobby Kennedy killed five years later at midnight. The rest doesn’t make any sense though. All three cities (Reims, London, and Tuscany) are European, not American, so… 5 out of 10, yeah, final answer.

5. The rise of Adolf Hitler: Born in Austria in 1889, Adolf Hitler rose to power in Germany after World War I. He founded the Nazi Party (1920), forgave debt imposed by the Treaty of Versailles, and stabilized the German economy. He became Chancellor in 1933, and quickly consolidated power, making himself Führer. He got cocky and invaded Poland in ’39, which led to World War II. Germany suffered many defeats and, as the Allies closed in, Hitler took himself out in his bunker on April 30, 1945, just days before Germany’s surrender ended the war in Europe.

Century 3, Quatrain 35

“From the depths of the West of Europe,
A young child will be born of poor people,
He who by his tongue will seduce a great troop;
His fame will increase towards the realm of the East.”

First of all, Austria isn’t “West of Europe,” it’s Central. “Born of poor people,” yes, Hitler was from a poor family and his tongue did, in fact, “seduce a great troop.” Love or hate the guy, Adolf Hitler was legit the orator of his day, captivating his countrymen with his passionate speeches, most of which were about nationalism. And yes, “his fame” did “increase,” but I don’t think I’d argue that invading Poland and Russia meant “towards the realm of the East.” His alliance with Japan may be what it means though.

Also…this quatrain has been used to describe Napoleon Bonaparte too, so…4.5/10. There is some interesting truth to it, but it’s still pretty vague and false.

Century 2, Quatrain 24

“Beasts ferocious with hunger will cross the rivers,
The greater part of the battlefield will be against Hister.
Into a cage of iron will the great one be drawn,
When the child of Germany observes nothing.”

Okay, so this is the big one. The one scholars and pro-Nostradamus bros will point to as the catalyst of his predictions, the one that solidifies the man dressed like Gandalf the Grey as a supreme oracle. Historians will say “Beasts ferocious with hunger will cross the rivers” refers to the German Army invading France, that the “greater part of the battlefield” refers to the Allied Powers, and conclude that “Hister” was a spelling error.

Really? The oracle uses all of this metaphorical and colorful symbolism to paint the picture, but suddenly gets super literal with the name, and still misspells it? Really? And you know, maybe it was a misspelled word, yet, the smoking gun, to me, is… “the child of Germany.” Historians will say this alludes to not the man, Adolf Hitler, but his title.

First of all, Hitler was not German. He was Austrian (born in 1889), immigrated to Germany in 1913 and renounced his citizenship in 1925. That would have made kid Adolf a whopping 36 years old at that time. So…definitely not a child, and not of Germany. Also, his title was “the Fuhrer,” which means “leader.”

Now, I will give the old dude some props…he called Germany Germany. And if anyone of you know how maps and history works, it wasn’t called Germany until 1871. In 1555, it was part of a collection of states (or kingdoms) under the rule of the Holy Roman Empire. So…nice job.

That being said, I give it a 4 out of 10. Honestly, it gives off more of a Book of Revelations vibe than a World War II allegory.

6. The September 11 attacks: On the morning of September 11, 2001, the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were attacked in New York City. “In the City of God there will be a great thunder, Two brothers torn apart by Chaos, while the fortress endures, The great leader will succumb, The third big war will begin when the big city is burning.”

Century VI, Quatrain 97

“In the City of God, there will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by Chaos, while the fortress endures,
The great leader will succumb.
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning”

Interesting limerick, I will admit. “Two brothers torn apart by Chaos” possibly referencing the Twin Towers. “The third big war will begin when the big city is burning” could refer to the war that followed in (March 2003) after that tragic day in New York City.

However…if you look at the rest of the quatrain, there are discrepancies. The line “while the fortress endures,” is probably a metaphorical description of the American spirit because, literally speaking, the fortress didn’t endure. WTC 1 and WTC 2 fell first, and then WTC 7 later that afternoon. But according to Wikipedia, WTC 3, 4, 5, and 6 also collapsed that day. The only building that remained structurally intact in the area was One Liberty Plaza.

Also...”the third big war” didn’t start when New York was burning. The invasion of Iraq (which has it’s on shroud of discrepancies) didn’t happen until March of 2003, 18 months later. That and, no offense to my New York buddies, but I would never consider New York City to be the “city of God.” Not trying to get all biblical and such, but the only evidence of a God-ordained city I know of is in Revelations 21, and it’s not New York City.

And who was “the great leader” and what did he succumb to? What temptation did he give into? Most of America rallied behind New York Mayor Rudy Guiliani that day, but I don’t remember him “succumbing” to anything. And because of all that…4 out of 10.

7. The Challenger Explosion: On January 28, 1986 the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded 73 seconds after takeoff, killing all astronauts on board. It was later discovered the cause of the explosion was due to a defective O-ring made by Thiokol.

Century I, Quatrain 81

“Nine will be set apart from the human flock,
Separated from judgment and advise.
Their fate is to be divided as they depart,
K. Th. L. dead, banished and scattered.”

Aside from the (more legit than insane) conspiracy theory that the astronauts never truly boarded the shuttle, there are a few oddities. “Nine will be set apart from the human flock,” hints that nine astronauts were on board the star-crossed flight, BUT there were only seven.

Also…Pro-Nos guys will claim that K., Th., and L., are actually Kappa, Thita, and Lambda, and that it is an anagram from Thiokol, the name of the company who supplied the defected O-ring. How they do that? No idea, but I think they believe it. But even if that were true, would that mean the Thiokol company is dead, banished, and scattered?

And just like that, a little cross-examination exposes a loose thread…and I will pull it. 2/10

BONUS ROUND

8. The End Times: “It’s the End of the World as we know it” — R.E.M.

Century X, Quatrain 72

“The year 1999, seventh month,
From the sky will come a great King of Terror:
To bring back to life the great King of the Mongols,
Before and after Mars to reign by good luck.”

Full disclosure: This prediction F*CKED me up as a kid. It was 1997. I was eleven, and heavily influenced by the 24-hour news cycle. That and the public schools were running bomb drills and convincing us that a thin metal desk would protect us from anything other than a piece of ceiling tile. At the time, I was worried about the thinning ozone layer and whether Russia or China was dangling a finger over the nuclear football. Anyways, my parents (innocently) rented 1981’s The Man Who Saw Tomorrow hosted by Orson Welles.

I say innocently because my mom is a huge Twilight Zone fan, so I’m sure she figured it was a creepy scient fiction movie. Turns out…NOT AT ALL! It was a documentary. And I’ll admit, I was looking forward to the future part. The film detailed how Nostradamus’ predicted many things (all of the above items) including the rise of Hitler, JFK’s assassination, and Napoleon.

And as the film wrapped up the tone turned, and Mr. Welles said “But before continuing, let me warn you now that these predictions of the future are not at all comforting – and I might go on to add that these visions of the past, these warnings of the future, are not the opinions of the producers of this film. They’re certainly not my opinions (Taken from IMDB).”

And then my 11-year-old brain was like “uh-oh” as the below scene played…

Kinda wild seeing this in 2024, isn’t it? So apparently, in July of 1999, a dude in a blue turban from the Middle East, was supposed to reveal himself as “a great King of Terror,” blow up major cities with the flick of a switch, and “bring back to life the great King of the Mongols?” You mean, he was supposed to bring back Genghis Khan? That’s interesting…cuz well, most of us can see that didn’t happen. 0/10

Before I end this blog, I wanna point something out. This video is being very sneaky, like super-duper sneaky.

Go to time stamp 2:12 and press play. After Orson Welles mentions how according to Nostradamus there will rise up a leader so terrifying that the world will come face to face with total annihilation. Now press Play.

Do it! Go! Watch until 2:34.

“The great one of the East, by land, sea, and air,
With a great army will cross with death,
The kingdom of the church will be overcome by the sea from Persia, nearly a million.
From Persia, from greater Arabia, from the Kingdom of Muhammad.”

Interesting quote, I wonder if there is any validity to it, maybe I’ll ask ChatGPT.

You

“The great one of the East, by land, sea, and air, With a great army will cross with death, The kingdom of the church will be overcome by the sea from Persia, nearly a million. From Persia, from greater Arabia, from the Kingdom of Muhammad.” What is this from, Gregory?

ChatGPT

This quatrain you provided is not from Nostradamus. It appears to be a modern composition, possibly inspired by the style of Nostradamus’s quatrains but not authored by him. It combines elements of Nostradamus’s imagery with references to figures and regions not typically found in his writings. It’s essential to be cautious with such verses, as they may not accurately reflect Nostradamus’s work.

You

My thoughts exactly. Thank you. That was a quote from 1981’s The Man Who Saw Tomorrow, a documentary/biography about Nostradamus. I had a feeling this quote was made up, so I’m glad you confirmed it for me.

ChatGPT

You’re welcome! Yes, “The Man Who Saw Tomorrow” is a documentary that interprets Nostradamus’s prophecies, but it’s important to remember that it takes creative liberties and doesn’t always adhere strictly to the original texts. It’s wise to verify any quotes attributed to Nostradamus to ensure their accuracy. If you have any more questions or need further clarification, feel free to ask!

ChatGPT aka Gregory, at 3:46pm on 5/2/2024

Wait, back up…so if that blue-turban prediction isn’t real, why is it in a documentary about Nostradamus, what’s the point?

Could it be… Nostradamus wasn’t a real person, but more of a brand name (like Nike, Apple, Budweiser) used to exploit/push the Doomsday agenda?

But…Why?

You mean, aside from the manipulating the American public into believing that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the Islamic religion wanted to annihilate the world for their own nefarious purposes?

…yes, aside from that obvious trickery…what’s the end game?

If you were told, by a doctor, that you only had 6 months to live, what would you do? Everything you could, right? Spend all your money? Max out your credit cards? Rack up as much debt as you could because…why not? You won’t be there to pay it back. So…live it up. Do all the things you’ve always wanted to do, spare no expense.

But then guess what, after 6 months, you learn that the diagnosis was wrong and you’re actually fine…now, you’re gonna have to pay back that debt, aren’t you?

Now imagine that scenario on a much grander scale. Let’s imagine that most of the world population thought the world would be decimated in 2025, what’d you think would happen?

Would we embrace our animalistic sides? Would Sodom and Gomorrah return in certain spots? Would Boomers continue to spend their children’s inheritances but at a much faster rate than they already are? Would Millennials and Gen Z double and triple-down on never having children? Would Gen X probably be like “f*ckin’ called it,” then light up a doobie?

I would argue…yes, to all that.

BUT HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS…

Whether Michel de Nostradamus was real or not, there’s still nothing to fear.

“Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.”

Matthew 24: 35-36 KJV

Any one who boosts or brags or claims to know the final hour is lying.

Also…his predictions are so vague and general that even if one fits history, it more than likely has been forced. And if I’ve learned anything from working 2000-piece jigsaw puzzles in a Best Western in Fredericksburg, Virginia at 2 am, it’s that in time, the wrong piece will always reveal itself. The truth will always come out.

Don’t fear Nostradamus…most of his predictions are nonsense.

Now…check out this killer bibliography:

“Nostradamus.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 11 Aug. 2023, https://www.history.com/topics/paranormal/nostradamus.
Johnson, Robert. “14 Famous Predictions By Nostradamus” Business Insider, Insider Inc., 31 Dec. 2011, https://www.businessinsider.com/predictions-of-nostradamus-2018-3.
“Inquisition.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 8 Feb. 2024, https://www.history.com/topics/religion/inquisition.
“Nostradamus.” Jewish Virtual Library, American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise, https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/nostradamus.
“Some Lumberjack Myths — Part 1.” The Kansas City Star, 8 Apr. 1910, https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-kansas-city-star-1910-04-08-some-lum/124350323/
“Anne Ponsarde Gemelle in Biographical Summaries of Notable People.” MyHeritage, https://www.myheritage.com/research/record-10182-2701389/anne-ponsarde-gemelle-in-biographical-summaries-of-notable-people.
“Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821).” Biography.name, https://www.en.biography.name/leaders/44-france/30-napoleon-bonaparte-1769-1821#:~:text=1769%20On%20August%2C%2015th,consider%20it%20a%20birth%20defect.
Dickey, Colin. “Quack Prophet.” Lapham’s Quarterly, https://www.laphamsquarterly.org/future/quack-prophet.
“Matthew 24.” Bible Study Tools, Salem Media Group, https://www.biblestudytools.com/kjv/matthew/24.html.
“Nostradamus Predictions – Crystalinks.” Crystalinks, https://www.crystalinks.com/nostradamus.html.
“The Man Who Saw Tomorrow.” YouTube, uploaded by Video Invasion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7mHIGQlm0&t=36s.
“The Man Who Saw Tomorrow (1981) – Quotes.” IMDb, https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081109/quotes/.