Cody Wayne Heuer — A RantRealm

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Male Feminists Are Odd…

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Last Tuesday, I accepted a Door Dash task to Dollar General. The customer requested a box of tampons and a pint of ice cream, so definitely not a man.

And before you ask, yes, we are tasked to grab a lot of odd items these days.

  • Condoms.
  • Bananas.
  • Condoms and Bananas.
  • Energy Drinks.
  • Kitty Litter.
  • Mascara.
  • Diapers (Mostly Paw Patrol).
  • Every Flavor of Sour Patch Kids.
  • Plan B.
  • Wireless Headphones.
  • Trident Gum.
  • Vibrators (or Sodomy Sticks if you’re religious).
  • Bleach.
  • Nutty Bars.
  • 12 Packs of Soda.
  • And so on…

This day, however, as I approached the checkout counter, I heard…

“…I’ve already talked to the General Manager, like, three times…”

…in a very confrontational, feminized male tone of voice. And, of course, my very first thought was…

“Uh, oh!”

…followed by that schoolyard hymn, how’s it go? oh, yeah…

“Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Gripping the shoulder strap of his camouflaged back pack by the snack aisle, a 27-30ish dude with wavy blond hair, wearing a pair of jorts and a black shirt, argued with the young black female at the register.

“You can’t take your back pack into the store, sir,” said the lady behind the register, still scanning and bagging items, “It’s company policy.”

“That’s discrimination,” he cried, his face growing red with embarrassment as the checkout line grew longer and longer. “I’m being discriminated against.”

She was rock solid. “It’s not discrimination, sir, it’s company policy.”

And then like Trump dropping his infamous “you’d be in jail” line in the 2nd debate with Clinton, this guy dropped this banger of an excuse. “Women can carry their purses, yet I can’t carry my backpack? Really? Sounds an awful lot like discrimination.”

Fair point. I’ll give him that.

But what made me pause, and later laugh, was…

F E M I N I S T

…plastered across the front of his shirt.

Hilarious. Feels like a divine joke, almost.

IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE…

…a male feminist in his early 30’s crying “foul” over a ‘no backpack’ policy

AND IN THIS CORNER…

…the Dollar General, all-female staff (aged 25-45), rolling their eyes and asking themselves “WTF?”

As this played out, all I could wonder was…why, that shirt? Did he plan this? Or was it an organic gift from the cosmos?

A tiny part of me imagined that morning, he looked at himself in the mirror, and said… “I love virtue-signaling. Sure, I probably couldn’t name one if I were ever asked. But, but, but…that’s because I’m super based and Red-Pilled. Also I’m way too busy surfing the Reddit for free OnlyFans content.”

Sorry, that’s just how these guys sound to me, all of them.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cody, what is wrong with you?”

–asked some random guy reading this at 3 am after sending half of his paycheck to a voluptuous AI bot online and mostly seething over the Red Pill remark–

“Why are you mocking this guy? Do you know him personally or are you just being a douchebag because you think it’s funny?”

First of all, No, I don’t know him. And second, I’m using humor to articulate a very important/cautionary point, which is…

I DON’T REALLY TRUST MALE FEMINISTS

“But Cody, you are gonna lose your entire Male Feminist fan base by doing this. I mean, why ruffle feathers when you can just talk about things people really wanna know, like…the upcoming eclipse or the secrets of the Vatican?”

Good Point, the Vatican is very interesting, mysterious too. And Yes, I agree, the Pope’s massive hat, long cane, and big ring screams PIMP!

…but I believe this is far more important.

BUT FIRST…BACK TO THE STORY.

The guy cried foul from the snack aisle. “Women can carry their purses, yet I can’t carry my backpack? Really? Sounds an awful lot like discrimination.”

All three employees, all women, rolled their eyes. The confronted employee, a young black girl, scrunched her brow. “It’s company policy. We can’t allow customers with back packs to peruse the store.”

The Male Feminist (or MF, 😉 ) didn’t back down. “But I’ve already spoken with the company about this three times, why am I still being persecuted when woman can…?”

I stopped listening at the point, cuz it was starting to get real whiney, and real redundant.

And then, something wild happened. Everyone else in the store, employees and customers, once strangers, were NOW buddies, corralling together in response to this turd.

  1. A mid 30’s black man at the front of checkout 3 set his items down, and turned to the elderly white man behind him. They became best friends immediately. Giggling like old pals, and joking about NOT being the kid with the back pack. It was legit beautiful.
  2. The lady in her 40s, the shift manager who helped me earlier, was now behind the counter, opening a box from the back. She gave the whiney feminist a casual glance, then locked eyes with me. We exchanged a few “What The F*ck?” glares, then returned to the show.
  3. A middle-aged Hispanic couple left the medicine aisle, and immediately started mumbling to each other, then returned to the medicine aisle.
  4. Three college students, 2 of them in adult-sized onesies, left the candy aisle only to pull a U-turn into the bakery/nutty bar aisle, then grinned back at us from the Diary section.

“AND THEN A HERO COMES ALONG…” (Come on, Sing it w/ me!)

All of a sudden, a young savior emerged. A feisty feminine redhead (with a hint of purple), a Karen-in-the-making, if you will, appeared at checkout 1, the one closest to the door. Truth be told, she had been standing there the entire time, I just didn’t notice her until, you know, she roared.

She turned to the male feminist, then eyed his infamous back pack.

And just started hammering him.

It was glorious. It was kinda like watching a little punk-ass spoiled kid get his first, well-deserved verbal lashing from his once super-patient mother.

*Bam! Head-Butt!* “Why are you complaining?”

“Don’t take it out on them!” *Jab Jab to his nose*

*Punch to his gut* “You sound like a child!”

*Backhand across his mouth.* “Employees don’t make the rules!”

“You’re a grown man, you should be ashamed of yourself!” *Uppercut to the jaw, and then he goes flying back into the chips.*

The interracial bros at Checkout 3 shared a belly laugh, did that soul-brotha, yet oddly instinctual hand shake, then tacked another sturdy two-by-four to the foundation of their new bromance.

The MF went silent, then replied “I’m not even talking to you, lady, this is a conversation between me and them, not you. So why don’t you just chill for a second, lady, mind your own business?”

And as expected, the floodgates opened.

She chewed him out, left the kid neutered (and super embarrassed) in front of everybody, then made like a tree and got out of there. At which point, the young black lady at Checkout 1 picked up the rope and did not stop talking until after I left.

A good ole fashioned fila-buster. Yes siree, Bob.

Whatever happened after must’ve worked. Ten minutes later, I went back for another delivery, and the dude was gone.

THE END…?

So…why do I distrust Male Feminists?

Is it because they are bad people?

No. Not at all, it’s because they’re broken. And broken men, especially the emotional ones without positive male influence, can be loose cannons.

  1. They Idolize Women.
    • Putting anyone (other than God) on a pedestal is insanely unhealthy. They are subconsciously broadcasting themselves as inferior. And an inferior creature tends to view others (AKA…other men) as oppressive, which leads to envy.
    • And if that idolized lady does anything wrong–not taking his advice, showing interest in another man or outright rejecting his advances–that “you’re perfect” pendulum will swing back HARD!
  2. They have deep-seeded Mommy issues.
    • They aren’t looking for a wife or a girlfriend, they are looking for a new Mommy. Generally speaking, MFs were un-disciplined, little princes, idolized by the Queen, so when they hit puberty, they start seeking a woman to validate, stroke their abandoned ego, and make them feel special. They are starry-eyed romantics raised to think that “they’re perfect,” and “any female rejection is her issue, she’s crazy, secretly a whore, or brainwashed by feminism (it’s ironic, I know).”
  3. Their Perception of Gender Roles is Inverted.
    • They see masculine men as a threat, or toxic beasts who are secretly jealous of them (for whatever reason).
    • They see women as fragile princesses who need saving. At the same time, they see women as protection. It’s an odd combo.
      • If there’s ever a public argument between a man and a woman, the MF will insert himself (white knight) to save the woman. And then when the focus turns to him, 9 times out of 10, he will hide behind the very woman he originally tried to save.
  4. They have a Pandering Problem.
    • They don’t know/trust themselves, so they pander to the women they idolize. They paint disingenuous portraits of themselves because they believe it will benefit them romantically and sexually. I’d argue most of it is nature (lack of strong fathers), but also due to their consumption of Hollywood movies and pornography.
    • “Oh, really?” the MF (male feminist) asks his crush on her way to class, “You grew up listening to Christina Aguliera? Me too, We should totally hang out and jam out to her classics.”
      • Yes, it can be that ridiculous.
    • “Oh, really? You’re going to that Pro-Choice rally at the courthouse on Saturday?” he asks, shifting to hide his Pro-Life bumper sticker. “Well, I’ll see you there on the front lines, ready to take down the patriarchy. By the way, how do you take your coffee?”
  5. Other Things…which can be discussed later.

Sympathy for the Male Feminist

As I mentioned earlier, I don’t despise them. I just don’t trust me. I’m weary of them. I also feel bad for them. And if I’m being super honest, I get it.

Wait, so does that mean…?

I was never a male feminist, but I’ve been around enough to understand the world they live in. They’re, for the most part, like everyone else, responding to traumatic childhood situations, in the only way that makes sense.

I could be wrong, but I tend to believe that at the core of these self-ascribed male feminists is a once-pampered/now-forgotten little boy trying to adapt his “predominantly feminine upbringing” with an unexpected reality that is, without question, run by masculine men.

Male Feminists aren’t evil. Most are just like everyone else. Well-intentioned, misguided children raised by well-intentioned, misguided parents, who were once children themselves.

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